You and your girl have been together for a while. You are blissfully happy and, what seems like all of a sudden, you’re having that dreaded “it’s over” conversation. What the hell happened?
You missed the signs.
Let’s keep it real, there are always signs there is trouble in a relationship. Be smart and recognize them because you might be able to repair the situation.
Or at least have the satisfaction of dumping her first.
I kid, I kid…
Let’s get to it: 10 signs you’re about to be a single man (in no particular order):
- She avoids referring to you as her man: Should be fairly obvious but many times a man is so gleefully happy he does not realize she stopped introducing him as “my boyfriend NAME” to “this is NAME”. Let me give you a mini-tip: look out for this from the beginning because a lot of women (and men) do this unconsciously.
- Lost interest in sex: Figured I would get the obvious ones out of the way. Lack of intimacy is a key sign she is phasing you out of her life. Do not confuse this with a woman that might have higher priorities, for example a single-parent, demanding job, etc. If there haven’t been significant changes in her life, she is still behaving as she always did (going out with friends, etc.) and her interest in sex dropped (along with other signs on this list) you can begin to question if something is wrong.
- The friends have priority: You’d like to go out on Saturday but she’s going out with her girls. You want to catch a movie on Wednesday but she’s going out with her girls. Get the drift? If she is consistently picking her friends over you, well, isn’t the point of being in a relationship to spend time together? Don’t whine if she wants to spend some time with her girls. Her life can’t be all about you, ya know?
- Call me sometime..: Does she call/send text messages/IM/email etc. as much as she once did? Happy women want to talk to their men and will break their neck trying to get in touch. The pissed off woman won’t really care if she talks to you or not. Lack of communication is another “putting distance between us” maneuver.
- The “click” is gone: You remember how it was in the beginning? The connection was so strong; the vibe was flowing, even when things were tough. Now, you cannot connect anymore. Mentally, she’s not there or something has changed….perhaps it is you?
- You’re always wrong: No one is wrong all the time, except you of course. She’s angry at you and honestly, this is hard one to get out of. She’s pushing you away but unwilling to discuss why.
- No more public displays of affection: Remember when you used to hold hands walking in the mall, cuddle at the movies, kiss in public? Another “putting distance between you” move that means she has concerns about how others view her relationship with you.
- She points out your differences: Are your long-term expectations in sync? If she wants to focus on her career and you want a stay at home mother for your kids, there is a problem. Perhaps entering the relationship one or both of you thought the other would change and it has become clear to her that is not going to happen.
- Outside interests are a priority: Every one gains new interests but if these interests take priority over time with you, that is a sign where she is resisting the opportunity to spend time with you. People make time for the people important to them.
- Her friends seem distant towards you: It is not uncommon for women to talk to their friends about a problem in their relationship before talking to their boyfriend. If you spend time with her friends you might notice a change in how her friends interact with you…because they know something you don’t.
Look back on your previous relationships and see if you can spot the signs where the relationship started to crumble. Learn from those experiences and look out for them in the future. Do not jump to conclusions at the smallest sign of change. If she’s busy three times you want to go out it could be she has school assignments or a work project that takes priority. Look for these signs consistent over time and try to work it out.
Or dump her first. I kid…I kid.