The phone rings, I answer it (this happened a couple of days ago):
Me: Hello?
Old friend of the family (OFOTF): Hi Tyme! How are you?
Me: Hi, I’m fine, how are you?
Exchange pleasantries….then we continue.
OFOTF: I called to wish your grandmother happy birthday.
Me: Thank you, but she passed away a couple of years ago.
OFOTF: I know, that’s why I called because I wanted to wish her happy birthday.
Me: Silence
OFOTF: I remembered because our birthday was on the same day.
Me: Happy birthday!
OFOTF: Thank you, and I wanted to wish your grandmother a happy birthday.
Me: (Thinking, but she’s dead…) Thank you, that was a nice thought.
So today he calls and Mom talks to him. He wished our dead grandmother happy birthday five or six times. She too thought perhaps he did not remember she passed away only to be told he knew perfectly well, he just wanted to wish her a happy birthday.
I always think of her on her birthday, and I miss her. I could see OFOTF thinking of her and perhaps calling us remembering her. But to insist on wishing her happy birthday – like he expected us to pass her the phone? I wonder if he has Alzheimer’s or something where he remembers but doesn’t really remember. I hope not, he seems to be alone. I don’t know whether to be baffled or concerned.
