TalkTyme: The Disconnect

This week in World of Warcraft it is Noble Garden. It’s a annual event that is similar to Valentine’s Day and Easter combined. It reminded me of a topic that I keep forgetting to write about. It’s about to get ugly in here (ie: no holds bar, straight honest talk, hope you can take it – you’ve been warned). And here we go…

Success depends on having a realistic view of your goals. What you want and reality are often out of sync. Understanding this, and not wasting your time, will help you to succeed in an area that has more realistic goals. It is easy to overlook when we have an unrealistic view of our own lives. We all do it, to different degrees.

Let’s Look at Relationships as an Example

I see this a lot (daily, multiple times a day) thanks to social networks. The guy will have “single” on his profile yet, there is a woman you can clearly tell has strong feelings (or they are developing at a rapid rate) for the guy. Make reference to him being involved or for fits and giggles mention “that girl” and he quickly claims he is not interested in the girl, nothing is going on (no relationship), or at most they have a no-strings sexual relationship.

Let me be clear: I detest having my intelligence insulted. I’m not stupid. When I’m reading “I love you!”, “How’s my sexy sweetie doing today?”, “I miss you, wanna go out on Tues?” “v yfin lfd reu v zvbb lfd”…someone is suffering from The Disconnect. Someone’s reality is completely wrong. Which one is it? Guess who isn’t going to try to sort through it?

***Tyme raises her hand!***

I immediately begin to lose respect, begin distancing myself and become amused at the stupidity in which he actually thinks he got away with something. The smarter guys, when the girl’s behavior is mentioned, will tell the girl to chill out…and she does. Is that not a sign or what?

Ladies, here is a tidbit for you. If you encounter this, play it cool and patiently wait for the girl to reappear. Then laugh your ass off when she does and be grateful you aren’t her.

When I talk about situations like this if comments are open, the comments pour in with a true understanding of The Disconnect. It is like the girl is trying to play World of Warcraft and doesn’t realize her internet connection died. The girl refuses to accept (and there are usually signs) the guy isn’t “that” into her. She can continue to waste her time but she is being played. You guys understand that concept.

But let me flip it to something that hits closer to home and ya’ll act like I’m talking a foreign language. o_O

You want to be a lawyer but you can’t think quickly or work well under pressure.
You want to own a large company but you have no leadership skills.
You want to be rich but you mismanage money like water going through a sieve.
You want to be a model but you’re 100lbs over weight.
You want to have a popular web site but you don’t consistently add content to it.

I don’t like it when my intelligence is insulted. I’m not stupid. Obviously something is going on because the female is there. If nothing was going on the woman wouldn’t be around – she would be focused on someone else.

She wouldn’t be wasting her time but the guy allows her to because he benefits from it. There is a clear disconnect because the female would most likely be hurt, frustrated and angry if she knew the guy denies any attachment to her at all. Or is only interested in sex.

And let me be double clear: I’m not stupid enough to believe that if he is doing it to one woman he hasn’t done it in the past, will do it in the future, and unless I’m careful, it could happen to me whether the relationship is romantic or platonic.