I was conversing with viewers and one of them said, “You know…like that one that got away”. They discussed women they felt, looking back, were “good women” that they made mistakes with and the relationship deteriorated. I sympathize with the feeling having felt something similar in the past.
I don’t have many exes, but the ones I have, I have zero residual romantic feelings for.
I asked if they felt these were “good women”, why didn’t they try to get them back? If that ship has sailed, isn’t it pointless to hold on to affection for someone that will never return it? In my experience, once I took an objective look at WHY the relationship didn’t work, I learned a lesson and I no longer had romantic feelings for my ex – they aren’t “sexy” to me because they are like brothers to me (I’m cool with my exes).
When I say an objective look that doesn’t mean, for example, counting all the great things I think I did for the guy that went unappreciated without accepting responsibility for MY actions. That is what many people do (I’ve done it myself), and it is understandable – it hurts being unappreciated. However, if one is to be bluntly honest, after a certain point, I was all kinds of stupid for continuing to be supportive to someone who did not appreciate it or if I asked myself, “what have you done for me lately?” and the only thing heard was crickets. The insecurities they felt made us incompatible at that time. IMO, there is no fault in this as there is nothing wrong with two people, mentally, having different places in life.
The actions were not wrong, they were just done with the wrong guy.
When asked what I would do if I were them, I told them, I’d do some soul searching and get rid of those feelings for a person that will never receive those affections. People are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. To me, past relationships are learning experiences we place ourselves in to prepare us for that person we are blessed to encounter who is meant to stay in our lives for a lifetime.
They deserve happiness and the odds of success in that special relationship is higher if the shackles of the past aren’t being dragged unnecessarily into the future.
I am blessed to have awesome conversation with the people who watch my videos. They make me think…I like that.