Mistakes happen. Don’t forget the lessons you learned.

I often say, “mo money, mo problems” and people usually respond with, “problems I’d love to have”. I chuckle when they say this because it is clear they have absolutely no idea what they are talking about. It is also clear, if they had money and fame, they wouldn’t have it for long.

One of my favorite YouTube musicians uploaded a video recently about a topic I’ve spoken about before: people being in your life for the wrong reasons. If you want fame, one skill you have to have nailed down is the ability to walk away from people who are in your life for the wrong reasons. Let’s talk about that.

Jeremy (Passion) uploaded this video on April 2, 2011. In the comments, he explained the song:

This was a short song I made describing a situation that many artists go through. Some artists embrace the perks of being famous or known (i.e expensive clothes, public eye, groupies, etc.) and some artists don’t see music in that way.

But whatever lifestyle you choose to take with your career, you’ll always run into people that want to know u because of your status or position. So we fall into the who’s fake and who’s real, who’s your real friends and who actually likes u for who u r

What Jeremy said is true.

You do not have to be famous or rich to attract the attention of people who are more interested in what you can give to them instead of being around for the right reasons. It will happen because there are weak people who, instead of just asking for help, will try to “sneak” and get it by lying, manipulating and misrepresenting who they really are.

Someone once told me there was no reason for us to converse unless it was for financial reasons, ie: him getting money from me. Those words hurt so bad, because I thought he was my friend, they went straight over my head and I made excuses for him. I couldn’t believe that someone I tried to support, someone I tried to help, someone I thought I could trust…someone that knew he could always count on me…could say something like that to me, and mean it.

But he did. As soon as he got himself straightened out financially, he bounced, without a word.

Obviously, I had a lesson to re-learn, because I placed myself in that position. Today, I would never allow anyone to treat me so badly. I would kick their ass before I accepted lies or attacks to my self-esteem. That entire situation made me much stronger, especially since it was going on while my Mom was terminally ill.

Why is this important?

Just like Jeremy who experienced people attaching to him for the wrong reasons because he is a musician, believe it or not, it happens everywhere and follows anyone who has the least bit of success. If you look at Jeremy’s channel, he has 140,000ish subscribers, which isn’t a lot on YouTube considering there are people with millions of subscribers. He isn’t close to being a household name or a mainstream artist. Yet, he’s experienced this problem.

All it takes is someone attaching to you because you have more than them. Or you are living a life that is better than theirs. I see this often in the gaming community. Many people are, for lack of another word, thirsty.

Does Xem’s video describe anyone you know? Haha, I think we all know people who are like this. I see this type of behavior often, especially on social sites. I am not implying that people who are like this are “bad” people, they are just going about getting what they want the wrong way…which is an indicator they aren’t ready for the fame they seek.

Knowing when to walk away from the people who want fame, but aren’t doing anything to earn it, will save you a lot of frustration, aggravation and pain in the long run. There is nothing wrong with wanting success, but having and maintaining success is very hard work. Hard work that is well deserved once earned.

There is nothing wrong with admiring and being inspired by others. Currently, I am drawing inspiration from Daichi Miura, a Japanese musician and choreographer. I enjoy listening to his music and he inspired me to learn Japanese. Sooner or later, I will have another inspiration. If he comes to the States, I will definitely go to his shows because he gives a great performance. If I ever go to Japan, I will definitely check to see if he is performing. That’s the extent of it. I simply enjoy his work, nothing more nothing less. As it should be. That’s healthy admiration.

I don’t need him to reach my goals.

As you get older and more successful in life, these situations will come up more often. You will have people who will attach to you if only because they look cool to their peers being “close” to you. Or, because of the position you hold, perhaps you can do them a favor in the future. Or, as Kanye would say, is a gold digger, simply interested in money.

Girl, you lost your train of thought, didn’t you?

When I saw my ex-husband last year, I looked into his eyes, and saw the same look looking back at me from when we were together. My gut told me he hadn’t changed. However, the kids had no memory of him and wanted to meet him. I wanted to protect my kids but I knew they needed to see him as he was, without my shielding them. I never wanted to be the parent that came between their father. This was his chance to be a father to his kids.

I told him, to his face, that his main attraction to me (back then) was because of my family’s status. He did not deny it. The kids were right there. We had our answer. He admitted he made some dumb mistakes back then. Yet, he needed money and I needed a room painted. Seemed like a good way for the kids to be introduced to their father. What happened? When he got enough money to move out of his fiance’s place, he bounced. He looked the kids in the eye, said he’d see them tomorrow, and they never heard from him again. He never finished the work, but he got paid for the job.

But this time, I knew in advance what was going to happen and I was ready to handle the inevitable pain the kids felt of losing their grandmother and their father back to back. Now, they want nothing to do with him. Not because of me protecting them but because they saw for themselves what he is like. Even through all of that, I wish him well and I pray that he becomes the person he wants to be so he can be at peace, strong and not need to use people to survive.

And it is somewhat fitting that I learned, through him, that I indeed learned my lesson. I just recently walked away from a situation when I noticed lies. Not a game I want to play.

My point: learn your lessons and once you learn them…don’t forget them. Don’t make an exception because usually…it is what it is.

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