Pre-Valentine’s Day

Tomorrow isn’t coming fast enough. If I could fast forward to Wed. I would, seriously. Since I took the old stuff down I need to refresh your memories as to why this particular V-Day will be a significant one. It was one year ago tomorrow that I found out that my ex-fiance was alive, and I heard his voice again for the first time.

We met when we were kids…a friend of mine wanted to introduce me to her boyfriend so I went to church with her. He and I looked at each other and as young as we were (he was 9, I was 7) we realized we wanted to be together – which was rather odd because I didn’t really like boys until that moment. I went to church with her the next week and he and I decided he needed to break up with her so we could be together. Third trip to church it was a done deal and ironically, she was okay with it. That’s how it started. And on it went until we grew up. We went through a lot together – his family moved and we were apart so much but he was a homing pigeon. I was his due North and we always found a way back to each other.

Then he told me he joined the military and I was pissed. He made a special trip home to tell me he had to fight and although my heart sank, I kept positive. I sent him a letter to try and reassure him I was still committed to our relationship. He sent me a letter, including all the letters I sent him throughout the years with the request that I hold on to them, keep them safe, to give back to him once he returned. There was also an address to write to him. I faithfully wrote to him, telling him how much I loved him, missed him, and what was going on. Months later I received all those letters back, stamped “deceased. I couldn’t get any solid information from the military except he was dead.

Fast-forwarding a bit I never forgot him and in a way never really got over it. I talked with a friend of mine in the military and I told him, he didn’t feel dead to me. Being the good friend that he was, he said he’d check into it as much as he could.

I created Tyme2BReal. He and my Mom were the foundation for that. I wore the gold band/diamond that symbolized our relationship since I was 16 – still wearing them. I was getting ready to move, continue on with a dream he and I shared but to do it, I needed to know exactly what happened. My friend pointed me in the right direction on who to contact. I called the military and they told me he got out. I was stunned but I still thought he was dead. Armed with technology I found out he didn’t die and found a web page that did not have a picture on it but I knew it was his but I didn’t know when it was written (it looked dated and it was a Google cache). I sent an email hoping someone could tell me something but didn’t receive a response (he sent one, I just didn’t get it).

Scared to death, I wanted to call him but I didn’t have the guts. Mom snatched the phone and called…and it was him! I cannot describe what it was like to hear his voice again. He didn’t know I thought he died and an odd set of circumstances ripped us apart again – but we found our way back into each others lives again. I didn’t even realize it was Valentine’s Day. My life turned upside down that day. In truth, his did too. He thought I moved on without him. It was good times talking to him…he even made a trip back home to visit.

It’s a year later and it’s all good. I am ecstatic that he is alive and I hope he has much happiness in his life. We will always be friends. With a history like that, how can we not?

But the experience taught me a lot about having a strong foundation and how important communication is. Many couples need holidays as a reminder to show appreciation for the special people in their lives. I think, when you truly care, you don’t need a reminder or a holiday – it’s always there.

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