Understanding her insecurities

Most people have some sort of insecurity when it comes to dating. Women are no exception, they have insecurities they might not verbalize because they do not want to cause drama unnecessarily.

Or they suspect the guy won’t tell the truth when she asks, so why bother?

Either case, the insecurities exist and unfortunately for men, some are a paradox. For example, a common fear women have is the guy’s sole interest in her is for sex. The problem here, if a man makes a move too soon, she might come to a false conclusion. If the man waits too long, she’ll think he has a platonic interest (or worse, lost interest). Watch for her signals because women usually let men know what they want and what they expect.

If you are interested in her, please let her know that you are. Many women take their cues from the man she is interested in. If the man hides his interests she’ll assume there is no interest and focus her attention elsewhere. A related insecurity is if a man is losing interest in her. The longer the relationship the more effort needed to reassure her that your interest is still there, not from obligation, but from true desire and interest.

This will eventually arise in almost every relationship: the fear of cheating. Be very careful about this if there is a history of cheating in her past. Are you a flirt? You might want to stay away from women who have been cheated on as they might view your flirting as a first step to cheating. This does not mean you should not be honest with her. If you are dating other women, be honest and let her know. If you’re having sex she might assume the relationship has moved to an exclusive one.

If you are satisfied in bed, let her know that. Women enjoy knowing she has pleased her man just like men like to know they are pleasing their women. Contrary to some twisted belief, women usually do not like quiet men in bed. Express yourself.

Life isn’t fair and there will be times in a relationship when one might have to work harder than the other to maintain the status quo. Once insecurities are dealt with they usually do not resurface unless behavior triggers them. Understanding the problems in a relationship will make the “work” less effort and help ensure those insecurities do not resurface.

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