In the sea of comments someone asked, “What are women insecure about?” Let’s talk about that for a bit. In my opinion, for some women, the question is phrased wrong. The real question is:
What aren’t women insecure about in regards to relationships?
If a man is interested in an insecure woman he has to realized he’s screwed. Seriously, he will be walking across a tight rope and unless he can balance himself, he’ll fall, making things worse. Most men think they have game, they can talk themselves out of anything and the worst case scenarios will never happen to him. Men can be so naive at times.
And You Thought Dating Was Easy…
A man goes out on a date with a woman and he has a great time. He’s thinking about the next time he’ll see her. Want to know what she’s thinking? “I really liked him, is he going to call me? Is he thinking about me?” If you want to cure the insecure woman, do what you say you are going to do. Said you’d call her tomorrow? Call her, text her, send her an email – contact her somehow the next day otherwise you are increasing her insecurities. If she is interested in you, she’ll be counting the minutes to that day. With some women the man would be in trouble if he called at night because he made her wait all day. Players don’t give a day when he’ll be in contact because he wants her to wait for it but not be accused of anything later.
The second insecurity is that the man really isn’t interested in her or worse, he only has a sexual interest. As a man, show your interest in the lady you like. Think about it, men become frustrated when women do not make it clear if there is an interest. Women become frustrated too, the exception is the frustration can turn into paranoia. Heaven help you if she had a bad experience in this area previously. While the man is wondering when he should make a move or how to show his interest the female, after throwing every sign she knows how to send, wonders why he isn’t responding the right way. The only way to combat this is via communication. Be honest…it won’t kill you.
Speaking of honest, let’s move on to the third insecurity. It should be obvious. The man has interests in other women. Men are notorious for dating other women and not disclosing that. Personally, I find it extremely weak if a man doesn’t disclose his other interests (he doesn’t have to say who the women are, just that they exist) because 99% of the time the female brings it up when the man avoids it. What a great way to start a relationship (even a friendship), based on a stupid lie.
You Thought Insecurities Died Once in a Relationship???
If you conquer the “other woman” insecurity while dating do not think that insecurity is gone forever. The “other woman” insecurity is directly dependent on whether the man gives the woman a reason to revisit the insecurity. A man can never forget this insecurity is waiting in the wings to KO him at any time.
If the amount of times the couple has sex decreases, and consistently stays this way, the woman will begin to wonder if the man is still attracted to her. Has another woman caught his attention? Is she slipping in satisfying him in bed? Voila, the “other woman” insecurity is back in full force this time. This can have varying levels – she might become clingy, always suspicious of what he is doing, causing her to look for evidence that does not exist. Her insecurity will quadruple if the interest isn’t another woman but a game, hobby, etc. because it can be an ego buster (wow, he’d prefer to kill imaginary monsters than spend time with me).
The ONLY way to resolve insecurities: be honest from the beginning and communicate with her. The truth always comes out in the end so if a man is dating other women take control of the situation and tell her before she discovers it. The woman discovering the lie makes it 100x worse than telling the truth in the first place. Do not use player lines because a woman, once she figures out those are player lines, will automatically think there is trouble (regardless whether there is trouble or not).
We come to the part in this article where one might ask, “What if I am honest, I try to compromise and address her insecurities but she’s jealous and paranoid. What do I do?” There is only one real answer:
Get out of the relationship.
If she does not have a mental or medical condition, get out of the relationship. If she does have a mental or medical condition, get her help. For the purpose of this article she’s just jealous and controlling…why would anyone want to be with a person like that? Always having to explain, justify and pray things are okay?
Why would someone fail to understand he/she deserves better than that?