You ever make a promise and then… life happens? Yeah, me too. You mean it when you say it. You’re excited, hopeful, ready to go. And then somewhere between “I promise” and “I’ll get right on that,” life comes running full speed, knocking you off your feet.
That’s why I’m asking: Are promises really worth anything if there’s no commitment behind them?
Promises Are the Easy Part
Making a promise is easy. It’s a few hopeful words thrown into the future — a handshake with your fingers crossed behind your back (sometimes without even realizing it).
A promise is like planting a seed in your backyard and calling yourself a farmer. Commitment is when you go out there every morning, rain or shine, pulling weeds, watering, dealing with the bugs eating your tomatoes.
Without commitment, a promise is just a nice idea that never grows into anything real.
When Promises Break, So Does Trust
Here’s the thing about broken promises: they don’t just disappoint people. They wear them down.
It’s like trying to build a sandcastle while the tide’s coming in. One broken promise, and everything you were trying to build starts crumbling underneath you.
That’s why setting boundaries matters. It’s not about being mean. It’s about saying, “If you keep stomping on what I’m building, you don’t get to be on my beach.”
If someone’s words and actions don’t match, you have two choices:
- Call it what it is (wishful thinking, not commitment)
- Stop making excuses for it
How You Spot the Difference
Anyone can say, “I promise.” Watch what they do after that. Real commitment looks like:
- Showing up when it’s inconvenient
- Owning mistakes without a dozen excuses
- Adjusting their actions when things get hard, not just when it’s easy
Small consistent actions > Big empty promises. Every. Single. Time.
And honestly? Sometimes you don’t need a big speech. Sometimes all you need is to watch who’s still standing there after the excitement wears off.
When We’re the Ones Who Drop the Ball
Let’s be real — none of us are perfect. Sometimes we break promises we truly meant to keep. It sucks. It feels terrible. But here’s where the rubber meets the road:
- Do you own it?
- Do you learn from it?
- Do you change?
Self-reflection isn’t always fun, but it’s necessary. Before you beat yourself up, ask: Was I committed? Or was I just hoping it would all work out without the hard parts?
Forgiveness matters too, but let’s be clear: forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending something didn’t happen. It means you acknowledge it happened and decide how (or if) you want to move forward.
Learned This Lesson the Hard Way
I used to let people break promises like it was no big deal.
“Maybe they’re just busy.”
“Maybe they forgot.”
“Maybe if I just wait a little longer…”
Spoiler: It doesn’t get better when you pretend it’s fine.
Eventually, I realized I was watering other people’s gardens while mine was drying up. Now? If someone’s actions don’t line up with their promises, I don’t make a speech about it. I just stop handing them the watering can.
Setting boundaries doesn’t make you harsh. It makes you honest — with yourself first.
The Real Question
So next time someone promises you the moon, stop and ask yourself: Are they really ready to build the rocket, or do they just like talking about it?
Words are easy. Effort is hard. Commitment is what turns dreams into something real.
When you stop chasing after promises and start looking for commitment, you’ll build stronger relationships — and a stronger version of yourself — every time.
📌 Changelog
- April 28, 2025: Article re-written to add additional information.
- Feb 12, 2024: Original article posted.
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