Learning from the past

Working on the site, my daughter and I have been going through old entries, fixing broken links, and making them public. It is nice to go back in time and remember the things you used to do, how you used to feel, realize how far you’ve come and perhaps learn something about yourself.

This is a part of a screenshot of a letter I wrote my fiance at the time that my daughter and I found in an old entry. He made a special trip back home (he was in the military) to tell me face to face that he had orders to fight. I typed this on a Brother typewriter and mailed it out the day after he left in hopes it would be waiting for him when he returned to base.

I mentioned previously that I looked back at the relationships I had and tried to learn what went wrong so I did not make the same choices in the future. In this relationship, as long as it lasted, communication was a huge problem. We didn’t make decisions together and you can see that in the promises I made. Many of the “major” decisions made within our relationship were made without us discussing it with one another. Perhaps if communication devices were as cheap as they are now, we wouldn’t have had that issue but back then, with his family moving all the time and him being sent all over the place in the military, we failed in coming together to ensure our decisions were in sync.

This is why I don’t “look” for love. For me, it drops in my lap when I least expect it because of a connection that naturally forms in an innocent way (usually because we have something(s) in common). The more we interact, the closer we become. A soul mate “should be” your best friend…there is a foundation strong enough to endure the hurdles the two will handle together. I see so many people trying to force a relationship to work and I think those actions hurt more than help because it tears at the foundation.

In total there were 15 promises and I kept them. He and I have known each other since I was 7 and he was 9. It is through experience that I realized that we will always be apart of each others lives, but as good friends, not soul mates.

I tell my daughter when love enters her life, she’ll know it. However, it probably won’t be the fairytale way the books describe. Trying to make fiction into reality usually doesn’t work.