This week, I’ve been thinking a lot about accountability.
A few people reached out to apologize for how they behaved last week. After watching Burn the Stage, Episode 4, they realized they could have handled things differently. I appreciated their honesty. Everyone makes mistakes, but what people will remember is how you react to them.
Disclaimer: This is my opinion. Feel free to disagree with it, I don’t care. At the end of the day, my moral and ethical codes are what I live by. I’m not saying anyone should change what they do (I don’t care and it’s none of my business). I’m talking about a decision I made for me to be comfortable.
Following Someone’s Lead
A few years ago, I learned a lesson about respect and privacy that has stayed with me ever since.
I have several friends in the LGBTQ+ community, including a gay couple I’ll call A and B who’ve moved into a new apartment. A was still in the closet. B was out and very proud.
During a livestream, A decided to do a tour of their apartment. While showing off the kitchen, living room, etc. he explained it was a two bedroom apartment.
When he reached the bedroom, he simply referred to it as “the bedroom,” not “our bedroom.” When he showed the second bedroom, it was smaller. He said it was going to be office space for B. He showed the bathroom, ended the tour, and started streaming a game.
He never said anything that revealed the relationship. Most viewers who were watching didn’t realize he was gay because he hasn’t come out publicly. Some got it, some didn’t.
No one made a big deal out of the situation. Why? Because of the way he handled it. He said, “this is the bedroom…” not “this is our bedroom…” We followed his lead and just chatted about the apartment. He trusted us to act right, so we did. Talking to him later, he said knew which people got it and was thankful they were quiet.
How HYBE Portrays BTS’s Relationships
Lately, I’ve been thinking about that apartment tour while watching how HYBE, BTS’s company, presents the group’s relationships with one another. Over time, it’s getting harder to ignore how calculated some of their interactions feel.
Members are sharing beds and snuggling with each other in ways that are too intimate for friends or co-workers. They’ll flirt with each other. Jimin once posted a fake blog claiming that RM and Jin were dating as an April Fools Day prank.
These “moments” blur the line between what’s supposed to be a close family-like dynamic and queerbaiting.
Understanding Queerbaiting
Queerbaiting is when creators or companies hint at queer attraction between characters or people without ever confirming it.
Two women talking followed by a hug can have different meanings. One person sees two women who are like sisters bonding. Another person, however, sees two women with a mutual crush flirting with each other. Interactions like this are designed to appeal to queer audiences while remaining vague enough to avoid alienating others.
It’s a strategy that works because it thrives on ambiguity. Fans see what they want to see. Some ARMYs view BTS as a family, while others see a polyamorous romance. HYBE benefits from both interpretations. Because, at the end of the day, ARMYs are still spending time and money on the group.
Why Queerbaiting Is Harmful
Queerbaiting is not normal fan service because it’s so manipulative. It treats queerness as an aesthetic instead of a legitimate identity. There’s no accountability, no confirmation of the nature of the relationships being implied. Fans are given content designed to play with their emotions while boosting engagement.
Queerbaiting turns human connection into a spectacle. It reduces love and intimacy into something that exists solely for profit.
Every interaction becomes something to analyze for a hidden meaning. Over time, the sincerity that drew fans in is replaced with speculation, confusion, and even betrayal.
Where I Draw My Line
For me, queerbaiting is where I draw the line. I’ve chosen to stop engaging with moments that feel like bait. That doesn’t mean I no longer care. I want to support their music without getting caught up in a narrative that cheapens it.
I don’t need to interpret BTS’s relationships or assign labels to them. If the members decide they don’t want to discuss their sexuality publicly, that’s their right to do so.
I want BTS to be seen as individuals and as a team. Not as characters in a story their company writes for views.
Supporting someone doesn’t mean you have to surrender your ability to think critically. I can enjoy listening to their music while refusing to take part in something that feels manipulative or disingenuous. What matters most is BTS’s artistry. Everything else should remain behind closed doors where it belongs.
📌 Changelog
- December 27, 2025: Changed the formatting, title and re-wrote some sections to improve the flow.
- April 11, 2018: Date article was originally published.
